Self Harm jokes
I slit my wrists.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Go commit neck rope.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.