Self Harm jokes

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

Don’t cut yourself up about it.