How do you know if an Asian has broke into your house? Your dog is gone. ;)
what do u call security outside a samsung store guardians of the galaxy
Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.
The bakery where I work is being robbed I said to the people I am calling the police then I realized they did not come for the money they came for the bread. Huh go figure.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
If cops are called pigs then security guards are piglets
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret and I said, well you never know when you need to pick a lock
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump? One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets. What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump? It just doesn't work...
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
having sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels
my gun is like my house used to be full now its empty
did you try the digital egg padlock? because it is very easy to crack the code.
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
What will Donald trump build in our devices? - A firewall
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
