Security

Security Jokes

Cop

If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.

Lock

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

Difference

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

It just doesn't work...

Assassination

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

Plane

Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?

A: They don't belong in buildings.

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  • Egg

    Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.

    Airport

    I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

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  • Apple

    One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

    Guardian

    If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

    Pentagon

    The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

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