"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
