Security jokes

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

*Enter password*

"ScoobyDoo"

"Password must contain special character."

"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Why don't orphans have Life360?

Because parents won't track them.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just hacked the "chrime."

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?