New Security Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just hacked the "chrime."

tv: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED farther: Guns cause all these problems! Kid playing fnaf security breach *bang* *Bang* Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

How do you enter your house?

Through Bill gates!

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

Someone threatened to break into my house but I am in a wheelchair, I said sure and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?

A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

your mum was poor so she went to rob the bank but she left cuz she couldnt find the cameras. she left her son and the security [girl] gave him the camera.