Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!
