Science jokes
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
I like balls.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road? Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.