Science jokes
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.
Memes
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.