Science jokes
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Memes
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."