Science jokes
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
My will to live.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?