Science jokes
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3