Science jokes
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
gay people
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
Bonnie Blue's son could win a science fair just by participating.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.