Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
