Science jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Memes
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.