Science jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Memes
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.