Science jokes

I don't get mitosis.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Uranus is blue from lack of service.

Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.

The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

Error.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?

Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!

What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His computer got a virus.

Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?

She kept getting the metal detector out.

What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.

What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

The earth is not round.

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Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.

What is black and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking's after a fire.