Science jokes
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.