Science jokes

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?

Runner beans.

Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?

They have parents.

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

What kind of air does Ariana breathe?

Helium?

He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"