Science jokes
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"