Scandal

Scandal Jokes

Career

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Priest

A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

Whopper

We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

Phrase

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

Joe Biden

Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?

Because he can’t sniff their hair.

Date

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

Money

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

Rape

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Daycare

Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.

Kid

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Crack

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

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