Scandal jokes
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.