Scandal jokes
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.