Scandal jokes
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.