Say jokes

What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?

"Why not you stand up for yourself?"

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

What did the knife say to the other knife?

"Knife to meet you."

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

*Aye, Matey!*

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

What did the owl that's a detective say?

"Hoo did it?"

What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!