Say jokes

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What did one orphan say to the other?

"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"

What did one orphan say to another?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."