Say jokes

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

What did one orphan say to the other?

"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

What did one orphan say to another?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!