Say jokes

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

What did one orphan say to the other?

"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

What did the Teacher say to the orphan?

"I am calling your parents!"

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!

What did one orphan say to another?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.