Say jokes
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
My Dad:,,Dont Smoke its very bad for your health" Also my Dad:
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"