Say jokes
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!