Say jokes
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”