Say jokes

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

What did the orange say to the other orange?

I orange you glad!

When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”

What did the orphan say to his stepmom?

"I need help."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

What did the icicle say to the snow?

"Why do you have to be so soft?"

What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”