Say jokes
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?