Say jokes
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.