What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Say Jokes
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What did one emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
