Saw jokes

You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"

Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?

Sensei: What is that?

Me: Saw con deez nu...

Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?

Me: What’s ligm...

Sensei: 😈

Me: no no no no

Sensei: Ligma ba...

I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.

So I turned off the lights.

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

What did the sea do when it saw the beach?

It waved!

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.