Saw jokes

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

It's really funny, read through everything slowly.

Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.

I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.