Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Ur mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
