My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Said Jokes
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
