Said Jokes

DH: I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

Dark..Humor :)

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK Whats that? said the orphans attractive brilliant cute darling ellegant funny georgeous and hot Whats the ijk Im just kidding🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So I was on a discord call the other day and one of my friends American buddies joined and we had a conversation.

Until they say: when did pounds change to quid.

And I said: 'they're the exact same thing.'

Then they said:

"but when did it happen?"

So I said:

"when did school change to shooting range?"

I went up to the depressed kid and said, I like ya cuts G

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Grandpa said no phone near the table so I said your not allowed near the school

I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said "Don't make me call your parents"

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee. SO his mom said he can have one. He got an esspresso not knowing depresso came with it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What's funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My Dad said he got me from the Shops and I remembered what grandpa said about him

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

little johnny was late to class the teacher ask him where was he little johnny said i was on top of marry hill the a kid comes late to class and also said he was on marry hill then a little girl thats about 4 or 5 comes in the teacher ask who are you she said IM MARRY HILL