Said jokes
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?