Said jokes

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"

He said, "Dogs."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"