Said jokes

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.