Said jokes

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!

There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."