Said jokes
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.