Said jokes
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.
He's now my sister.