Said jokes

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer:

The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.