Said jokes

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.