Said jokes

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.

That's why he married Courtney Love.

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."