Said jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.