Said jokes

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.

Whoever said that about me better pray!

Wanna hear a joke?

Yeah.

...

What's the joke?

I said it already!

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!