New Said Jokes - Page 14 - Worst Jokes Ever

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.