What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
