Safety Jokes

What is the day parents stooped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who been kidnapped?? One of them is a domesticated pet

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better then shouting he’s got a gun at the airport

grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder

Where do pedophiles go hunting .... Elementary schools

A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.

I say 1 2 3 all the kids bullied me but now they're not so cool cuz I shot up the school

Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can't Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn't there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

Why did sally cross the road? She didn’t wear her seatbelt

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse. They can stay in their living room.

If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings

I hate wearing a mask in public

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off

What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

The witnesses.

The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)