Safety jokes
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Slow down prostitute ahead
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
I'd rate the pilot a 9/11.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...