Run jokes
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.