New Run Jokes

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?

She had a meltdown.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."