Run jokes
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
Bend over and spell run.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"
So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.