Roast jokes
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
Balls.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Ass.
I wanna die.
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
Butthole.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.