Roast jokes

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Friend: You look like a baboon.

Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!

The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

Friend: Do you think she likes me?

Me: Yah.

Friend: Really😀😀😀?

Me: Hell no.

Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.

You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.