Roast jokes
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Your fay.
Well, you're the thing that sunk the Titanic.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.