1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Roast Jokes
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
Butthole.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
When I try to roast someone; Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii you stink!
Ur mom.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
