Road jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.