What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
