Road jokes
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road? Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.