Road jokes
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Memes
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.