Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
