Road jokes
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why can't the Ctrl key cross the road? Because it is an 8-lane highway.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.