Road jokes
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What’s big and black on the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"