Road jokes
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Memes
lol so true
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.