Road jokes
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.