Road jokes
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉