Right jokes

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?

No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"

Comment down below, does your grandma do this?

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.