Restaurant jokes
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
McDonald's :)