Restaurant jokes
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
Chimichanga.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What do Arby's and black women have in common? They both have the meats.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.