Restaurant jokes
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What kind of Panera Bread do fishers use?
Panera bait.