Restaurant jokes
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"