Restaurant jokes
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Pizza Hut.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.